Made me think about moi

Nightswimming
REM (Automatic for the people)

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night
The photograph on the dashboard, taken years ago,
Turned around backwards so the windshield shows
Every streetlight reveals the picture in reverse
Still, it's so much clearer
I forgot my shirt at the water's edge
The moon is low tonight

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night
I'm not sure all these people understand
It's not like years ago,
The fear of getting caught,
Of recklessness and water
They cannot see me naked
These things, they go away,
Replaced by everyday

Nightswimming, remembering that night
September's coming soon
I'm pining for the moon
And what if there were two
Side by side in orbit
Around the fairest sun?
That bright, tight forever drum
Could not describe nightswimming

You, I thought I knew you
You, I cannot judge
You, I thought you knew me,
This one laughing quietly underneath my breath
Nightswimming

The photograph reflects,
Every streetlight a reminder
Nightswimming deserves a quiet night, deserves a quiet night

Something to think about and aspire to

Matthew 5: 1-12 (NIV)

Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them saying:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,  for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

From the point of ignition to the final drive.
The point of the journey is not to arrive

Anything can happen

Rush -- Prime Mover

All of us get lost in the darkness
Dreamers learn to steer by the stars
All of us do time in the gutter
Dreamers turn to look at the cars
Turn around and turn around and turn around
Turn around and walk the razor’s edge
Don’t turn your back
And slam the door on me

Rush --The Pass

Have to keep reminding me that I should only fret about the things I actually have control over and not get depressed and frustrated because of the things that are above and beyond me. We had a stress management retreat a couple weeks ago and t he facilitator painted it as a 10% of a problem is what th e problem actually is and the other 90% of the problem is your perception of it.

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/gate/archive/2006/03/08/notes030806.DTL&nl=fix

Random

"What I do is based on powers we all have inside us; the ability to endure; the ability to love, to carry on, to make the best of what we have – and you don’t have to be a ‘Superman’ to do it." 

--Christopher Reeve

A Long December
Counting Crows

A long december and there’s reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can’t remember the last thing that you said as you were leaven’
Now the days go by so fast
And it’s one more day up in the canyons
And it’s one more night in hollywood
If you think that I could be forgiven...i wish you would
The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that it’s all a lot of oysters, but no pearls
All at once you look across a crowded room
To see the way that light attaches to a girl
And it’s one more day up in the canyons
And it’s one more night in hollywood
If you think you might come to california...i think you should
Drove up to hillside manor sometime after two a.m.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her
And it’s been a long december and there’s reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can’t remember all the times I tried to tell my myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass
And it’s one more day up in the canyon
And it’s one more night in hollywood
It’s been so long since I’ve seen the ocean...i guess I should

Would you exchange something that you thought would bring happiness
for something you thought was worth it?

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, to discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and to be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion.

Walden or Life in the Woods - Henry David Thoreau (1817 – 1862) 

What you think you want is not necessarily what you need. Sometimes even the most self-asured people know that and accept it but sometimes we rebel aagainst it. 

It's just like when you're a little kid and your parents tell you not to do something and you go ahead and do it just because you want to see what's like?My life is just that right now. I know I should be thinking of stability and, maybe, starting to look at a long-term relationship yet here I am struggling with choices that are those I feel I should have made 10 years ago, back when I was just starting to work on CVC or even before that... The only constant in life is that change is inevitable, isn't it?

And I guess that's what it boils down to. Chico is no longer a place where work and happiness are one and the same. It's become a disapointing job, where all the challenges have to be self-initiated; while that is cool it gives a very fuzzy sense of direction and not a sense of satisfaction with what you're doing.

Right now I'm looking at what the alternatives are for the short term and what long term plans are shaping out to be.

I think I have a COA to keep me happy for a while. I'll continue here at least until June, the time I'm taking the GRE. If I make the score I need got either school (and making the score for Utah State means  that I also make the score for Georgia ) then I'll re-evaluate where and when I'm going. If I decide to move I'm going to turn in my application no later than August 15th for both places.  If I don't make it then I need to start applying out of Chico, maybe CVC would not be such a bad idea after all... get a portfolio put together and see if non-educational work comes around... but this time apply yourself to it and use all the skills you have amased over time to make sure you do your best.

Kinda sad it's gotten to this

http://www.decliningbydegrees.org/

K.I.S.S

Omaha
Counting Crows (August and everything after)

Start tearing the old man down
Run past the heather and down to the old road
Start turning the grain into the ground
Roll a new leaf over
In the middle of the night,
there's an old man treading around in the gathered rain
Well mister, if you're going to walk on water
Could you drop a line my way?

(chorus)
Omaha
Somewhere in middle America
Get right to the heart of matters
It's the heart that matters more
I think you better turn your ticket in
And get your money back at the door

Start threading a needle
Brush past the shuttle that slides through the cold room
Start turning the wool across the wire
Roll a new life over
In the middle of the night,
there's an old man threading his toes through a bucket of rain
Hey mister, you don't want to walk on water
You're only going to walk all over me

(chorus)

Start running the banner down
Drop past the color
Come up through the summer rain
Start turning the girl into the ground
Roll a new love over
In the middle of the day,
there's a young man rolling around in the earth and rain
Hey Mister, if you're going to walk on water
You know you're only going to walk all over me

(chorus)

 I bought two lotto tickets yesterday. I'm feeling hopeful today. Why, I have no clue Are you feeling lucky punk? are you?

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, to discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and to be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion.

Walden or Life in the Woods - Henry David Thoreau (1817 – 1862)

What does it mean to live deliberately?